Parenting arrangements after a divorce has taken place is something that can be difficult to navigate at first. Making these arrangements a positive experience can set up your children for a strong foundation throughout their life and will be beneficial for them in the long run when you are able to work out a system to effectively co-parent. The relationship that your child or children have with both parents is so important for the development and the trajectory for the rest of their lives. If you are in an arrangement of co-parenting in your children’s lives after a divorce, you need to know how to be an effective co-parent in order to help ensure happy and healthy children.
Create a Unique Plan
Every family and every divorce looks different across the board. Due to this fact, each co-parenting arrangement needs to be a unique plan that is catered to the schedules of the parents and the needs of their children. Creating a solid plan will help to increase the stability that the children will have growing up and won’t cause as much stress when schedules are organized. These plans are usually drawn up with an inexpensive divorce lawyer and it goes through the court systems to ensure that it is a fair arrangement for everyone involved. These plans typically include:
- Who will have responsibility of the children and at what times
- What holiday schedules will look like
- Everyday pick-up and drop off responsibilities
- Details of communication between parents and children
Communication Is Key
When working out parental responsibilities and arrangements, it is important for the sake of the children that the parents are good communicators with one another. There are many instances where divorced parents use their children to deliver messages to each other during transition periods between houses. This can cause unnecessary stress and strain on parent-child relationships if the parents cannot effectively communicate with each other. It can be as simple as a communication schedule of weekly phone calls or emails between parents to help keep each other informed and aware of what is going on. This helps everyone to be on the same page so their children can thrive without feeling the go-between for the parents.
Consider the Adjustment of Your Children
These changes of divorce can be a big event in anyone’s life – but it is a particularly big adjustment in the lives of your children. Make sure you are prepared to handle the uncertainty that your children may be feeling and consider their feelings throughout all of this. If both parents are able to be on the same page and are empathetic with their children towards this change, it can create a strong foundation of trust that can help get them through this time. Giving your children the opportunity to have open communication with both parents is an essential part of helping them adjust to their new environment and this new family dynamic. These considerations can benefit not only the children impacted by divorce but will also benefit the parents as everyone tries to create a healthy and happy environment to co-exist in.